my teacher marked all through it! idk what is so bad about it? My name is I was born in Memphis, Tennessee on October 15th, 1993. I moved to Nashville when i was a child and haven't left since then . My current location is not too far from Nashville State. I have not yet graduated from high school. I am still attending high school at Middle College High School where I am a junior and will graduate in 2010. My high school is located in Nashville State Community College. I was born in America so, naturally I speak fluently in English but, I also have completed Spanish two on the high school level which means I can speak a little Spanish. I am currently unemployed due to my busy school schedule. At Nashville State I plan on studying anthropology. I am not sure as to what I am going to do with my degree considering the minute jobs choices in this field. The skills I need to have a successful college and high school career would be to have the ability to read by the masses opposed to small increments of books like I have been. For specific class of composition 1, I plan to leave with the ability to organize papers grammatically, coherently, and logically. You are “answering questions†below here, not developing an essay. As far as my personal and social life, I do not tweet, I try to avoid texting, and try to avoid social networks because is, to be bluntly stated, a wasted of moments, time, and energy. I play guitar, piano, and synthesizers in my spare time. Instead of participating social networking, i revolve my life around music. I have two albums on my computer that I wrote consisting of over forty songs. My favorite and most influential bands are Radiohead, Animal Collective, Led Zeppelin, King Crimson, MGMT, and any early Psychedelic music.
Drawing & Illustration - 2 Answers
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1
What was the title of your assignment? It does sound rather more like a list than an essay, but we could advise more with more information. And maybe you could post in the Education section, as your question is currently in Drawing & Illustration (all about art). I think you could work up a wonderful essay from your last paragraph, as you are obviously passionate about music.
2
It sounds too much like something a third grader would write. "I did this. I did that." You need to be using longer sentences and a more adult sentence structure. For example: "My name is John Doe, and I was born in Memphis, Tennessee, on October 15, 1993. When I was a child, my family moved to Nashville, and we now live not too far from Nashville State. I attend Middle College High School at Nashville State Community College where I am a junior. After completing Spanish Two, I can speak a little Spanish, but my first language is English. Due to my busy school schedule, I do not currently work. After I graduate in 2012, I plan to study anthropology at Nashville State. Due to limited jobs in this field, I am not sure what I will do with my degree."
